The BNP is the obvious candidate.  It gets a few lazy twats elected as councillors, and the mainstream media paint a picture of panicking Party HQ's, throwing hissy-fits at the thought of a hard right victory.  The latest rise of the BNP has proven, yet again, to be stillborn.

Next up it seems are the UK Independence Party (UKIP), who confounded everyone when they replaced a leader called `Roger,' with one called `Nigel.'  I know it's childish to make fun of people's names, but people don't visit tygerland.net for its maturity.  Readers know better than that.

Anyway, our friend Nigel will lead his merry band of progress-hating pygmies to cosmopolitan Telford (it's a town in Shropshire - Ed), for their annual conference.  Insiders suggest the event this year will last in excess of 45 minutes (however many delegates still plan to have their taxis wait outside).  One expects they'll spend most of the time debating the merits of the steam engine before passing a resolution outlawing the device.  Clearly it's the devil's work.

Further resolutions on whether the monkeys at Twycross Zoo are French infiltrators are expected, although the vote on whether Jesus was a `dirty foreigner' is expected to be defeated.  The popular Jesus was from Sevenoakes faction within the party remains a fairly powerful voting block.

Mr. Farage (that's Nigel) plans to position his party into the gaping hole to the right of the Tories. Bjorn Cameronson has been outed as fully paid up Scandinavian-style Social Democrat, and the NewConservatives have left for the centre, leaving many of their faithful thrashing around gasping for tax cuts and demanding kids be sent back down the mines.  Farage hopes to attract many of these frustrated Thatcherites with promises of returning Britain to its former greatness.  The annexation of the East Coast of America, Australia, and the reinvasion on India are proposed.