Erm, well, I was reading this piece in the Evening Standard with interest yesterday:

THE rebranding of the Tories has suffered a rebuff with the party faithful preferring an oyster and champagne bar to a flagship organic juice café.

The Tory leader is championing 'general well being' as a 21st century ideal and a GWB café is selling £2.50 blueberry thrill and apple dapple doo smoothies, sourced mainly from local produce, at the party conference.

Anna-Maren Ashford, brand manager for the Conservatives, said: 'It's going quite well. This is about general well being and it is quite fundamental to the party and everything we talk about.'

However, a nearby seafood bar appeared to be doing better trade with local oysters at £12 for six, succulent prawns at £14 for five and Scottish smoked salmon at £12.75.

Delegates were also being offered Laurent Perrier Rosé NV champagne at £65 a bottle and Lanson Black Label NV at £42.95 as well as a selection of wines.

But it would be harsh to pick such an isolated incident, wouldn't it?

Well how about immortalising your "greatest leaders" in a commemorative Faberge Egg? (I'm sure we've all done it, after a good night out.)

Yes this is the new look Tories, run by two Eton toffs who apparently still think it's funny to laugh at those with learning difficulties.